A Mind To Change - Professional Hypnotherapy

The Seven Deadly Attitudes: Worry

Worry is a cancer of the soul.  It eats away at the human spirit until you're left with nothing but disappointment and misery.  Worriers are perhaps the highest risk group for all major illness, from heart attack to cancer.  They put enormous strain on their mind and body.  People who expend most of their mental energy worrying not only shorten their own lives, but also the lives of the people around them.  They create an atmosphere of constant danger and tension that pollutes any human endeavour.

Real worry - the kind of thinking that kills joy and maims happiness - is looking into the future and focusing on what could go wrong.  Call it a pessimistic attitude or (as a pessimist would say) 'simply being realistic'.  Whatever you call it, worry is pure, lethal, negative thinking.

There are plenty of good reasons not to worry.  Free your mind from negative thoughts about the future and you free up mental energy.  You can then use that energy to change the future, rather than worry about it.  You'll get more done; earn more money; be more powerful.  Eliminate worry from your life and you'll relax.  You'll sleep more soundly, improve your digestion, increase your confidence, maybe even laugh a bit more.  Your friends and family will like you better.  Adopt a worry-free lifestyle and you'll have an excellent chance of baby-sitting for your great grand-children.  Sold?  If you're a hard-core worrier, probably not.

Like all our deeply held attitudes, worry is an inherited condition.  Anyone who can remember their mother saying, 'Put your coat on! You'll catch your death!' has been programmed to worry.
Many child-hoods are filled with endless pronouncements from authority figures saying, 'if you don't you'll..'  If you don't study, you'll flunk.  If you don't stop smoking, you'll get lung cancer.  If you don't go out more, you'll never get married.  Authority figures could say, 'Think how much better it will be when..'  Think how much better it will be when you pass your exams, stop smoking, get married, save the planet, jail the pushers and make peace.  But no, threats are more effective than inspiration.

This worrying mind-set is based on the idea that the world is a minefield.  You can't be too careful. Worries insist that they're simply anticipating what could go wrong.  Then they can either avoid the problem or deal with it effectively.  Why not prepare for the worst?  Life is full of disappointment, danger and disaster.  It's a seductive argument, and it makes sense - to a point.  True, life isn't a bowl of cherries.  If you're breathing, you're going to encounter disappointments, heartache and misery.  Only a fool would deny that bad things happen to good people.  The fatal flaw in this 'prepare for the inevitable' argument is that worrying doesn't change anything.  In fact, it makes things worse.

One of my clients started a computer consultancy business in the depths of the recession. He was sleepless with worry.  Before hypnotising him to relax, I asked him why he was so tense.  For ten minutes, he explained what would happen if he didn't land his first customer.  Bottom line: he'd end up on the street with no future.  Fair enough, I said, that could happen, but why worry about it?  Does dreading something stop it happening? Worrying was making him tired and nervous - not exactly the best frame of mind to impress potential customers.  Why not think about how great it will feel to get that first sale?  At least that way you can relax.  And when you're relaxed, people relax with you.

One of the best arguments against worrying is the argument for positive thinking.  Think positively about the future and positive things happen.  It creates good luck in a practical and down-to-earth way.  For one thing, people are more receptive to your ideas when you're unworried calm and centred.  For another, an unworried person is more attuned to life's possibilities.  Worry about the future and you're lost in a cloud of depression.  Think positively about the future and you're alert to opportunity.  You find good luck.

I discovered how this works when I interviewed for a TV producer's job.  The interviewer and I had very difficult ideas about the proper role of TV journalists.  He seemed to think reporters had a duty to interview people who'd just lost their loved ones in horrific accidents.  We ended up literally yelling at each other.  Leaving the interview room, I had every reason to be depressed about my prospects.  I really needed a job, and there was nothing else on the horizon.  Instead of slinking off and sinking into gloom, I told myself not to worry.  I spent a few minutes calmly warning the next interviewee what to expect.  The applicant gave me his card and thanked me for the inside info.  We stayed in touch.  A year later, he hired me.

Contrary to popular opinion, positive thinking about the future doesn't mean mindless optimism.
It means adopting a balanced, realistic attitude to events.  If the bank is about to foreclose on your house, you don't simply shrug your shoulders and say, 'No problem. I'm sure it will all work out.'  By all means prepare for the worst.  But think positively to relax.  The more relaxed you are, the easier it will be to find a way out.  Although the captain of the Titanic had every reason to be optimistic about the safety of his vessel, he still should have checked the waters.  There's nothing wrong with keeping an eye out for submerged icebergs, and having plans to deal with them.

Scanning and planning for failure when the cost of failure is high is 'justifiable concern'.  To succeed in life, to find health and happiness, you need a balance between concern and thinking positively.  It isn't easy.  Generally speaking, the less you have to lose, the less you need to worry.  The trick is to put your problems in perspective.  Most of the dangers lurking out there aren't really all that dangerous.  Think about how many times your worst fear came true and it wasn't so bad.  You survived, didn't you?

In a way, bad luck and mistakes actually make us stronger and wiser.  Anyway, since you cant know what the future holds, why spend all your time and energy preparing for something that might never happen?  Better to enjoy life moment by moment and let the future take care of itself.  Robert Farago

The Seven Deadly Attitudes:

Fear  Guilt  Apathy  Doubt  Worry  Obsession  Resentment

The Seven Deadly Attitudes

Say Hello to Your Subconscious

My grateful thanks to Mr Robert Farago for kindly allowing excerpts of his best selling book
'Hypno Health - How to transform your life through the power of hypnosis'
(ISBN 0-09-177576-0 / Vermillion) to be reproduced on this web site.

Purchase Robert Farago Self-Hypnosis CD's

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Howard A. Stanyon DHP HPD DIP COUNS, MHA MHPA MAPC MSFTR MOC LHS UKHR UKCHO
Finedon, Wellingborough, Northamptonshire, NN9 5DW, East Midlands, United Kingdom.
Telephone: +44 (0)1933) 680968 or contact me by email

Professional, confidential, empathetic hypno-therapeutic assistance with emotional, psychological and personal difficulties.

Welcoming clients for professional hypnosis and hypnotherapy from:

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Howard A. Stanyon DHP HPD DIP COUNS, MHA MHPA MAPC MSFTR MOC LHS UKHR UKCHO
Finedon, Wellingborough, Northamptonshire, NN9 5DW, East Midlands, United Kingdom.
Telephone: +44 (0)1933) 680968 or contact me by email

Professional, confidential, empathetic hypno-therapeutic assistance with emotional, psychological and personal difficulties.

Welcoming clients for professional hypnosis and hypnotherapy from:

Barton Seagrave; Burton Latimer; Corby; Desborough; Earls Barton; Geddington; Higham Ferrers; Irchester; Irthlingborough; Kettering; Northampton; Raunds; Rothwell; Rushden; Stanwick; Thrapston; Towcester; Wellingborough and the whole of Northamptonshire, Bedfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Cambridgeshire, Huntingdonshire, Leicestershire, Oxfordshire, Rutland, Warwickshire, and beyond.

For more information about the places covered by Northamptonshire Hypnosis & Hypnotherapy at Northamptonshire's amindtochange.co.uk Hypnosis Practice, please refer to the county lists displayed toward the foot of the page.

amindtochange.co.uk - Howard. A. Stanyon DHP HPD DIP COUNS - Clinical Hypnotherapist.
Telephone: +44 (0)1933) 680968 - Call anytime, 24 hours a day, or contact me by email